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Daireem - Flistna
AuthorComment
Alex Dean
Cargo Hauler
Dominion Master
8/7/2006 10:11:15 PM

Level: 1
Experience: 0

Total Posts: 151
RE: A Traveller, a Cargo Hauler, and a Ship Dealer Walk Into a Bar

PORK CHOP SANDWICHES

OH ^$#( GET THE %$#@ OUTTA HERE MAN

An enormous hand furiously slams down on the >> button of the Tape Player O' Daireem with fury. (The VCR O' Daireem is currently broken and eats the tapes, so they had to fall back to the Tape Player O' Daireem, which hasn't been used in three millenia.)

Alex arrives at Jorgenson Ship Dealers, sixty tape richer. Total load sweet.

Alex: Hi Rob.
Rob: Hi Clint.
Clint: Hi guys.

Everybody explodes.

FOR SOOTH!

Alex now finds himself standing on Sam's desk. Unsure of how he got there, he continues with his purpose and hopes Sam won't notice.

Alex: Hi Sam. Heard from the TCF yet?
Valerie Fas'nvak
Ex-tournament fighter/
ninja accountant

Dominion Master
9/11/2006 10:55:32 PM

Level: 1
Experience: 0

Total Posts: 126
RE: A Traveller, a Cargo Hauler, and a Ship Dealer Walk Into a Bar

Valerie leans in close and whispers, blade hovering an inch above the man's neck.

Valerie: Is anybody else here?

The man shakes his head no. She stands up, pulls out her P229, points it at his face, and sheathes her sword. She speaks quietly.

Valerie: Get up and put your hands on your head. Silently.

The man complies. She puts an arm around his neck and leads him into the back of the office, using him as a shield. She clears the room quickly and pushes him against the wall.

Valerie: Hands against the wall. Stay there.

Keeping the gun trained on him, she rummages through the nearby desk's drawers for zip ties. She finds one and goes back over to the man.

Valerie: Hands behind your back. Cross your wrists.

He complies. She puts the zip tie around his wrists.

Valerie: Sit on the floor.

She grabs the office chair behind the desk and rolls it over in front of the man. She sits down and gets comfortable.

Valerie: Now, you're going to tell me where I'm going to find Mateo Malone.
Man: Why?
Valerie: Because nobody's here to help you and I have a couple guns and some swords.
Man: You're not very convincing at this.
Valerie: That's too bad. Maybe it'll be convincing when I cut a few fingers off... your ear...

She sets the briefcase with the bag of clear liquid in it on the desk.

Valerie: Before all that, though, I'm going to dump your drugs. How much does this bag go for on the street? A hundred? Two hundred? I bet it's a lot.
Man: You watch too much TV. Maybe you should learn some real interrogation techniques.

She pulls out her Szabofly and twirls it around a little.

Valerie: You mean like cutting your fingers off like I said I would?
Man: You won't. I can see it in your eyes.
Valerie: This is a big waste of time.

Without any warning, she hurls the knife into the man's leg. The man howls.

Valerie: If you're lucky, I didn't just hit a major artery. Want to tell me now so I can get you to a hospital before you bleed out?
Man: Jeez! What do... What do you want to see him so bad for anyway?!
Valerie: A bounty. Lot of money on his head.

He squirms on the floor.

Valerie: The sooner you talk, the sooner it stops hurting.
Man: This is illegal!
Valerie: Uhh, hello, Mr. Drug Dealer? Look who's talking.
Man: Dang it! You're nuts!
Valerie: So they say.

The man is clenching his teeth and breathing quickly.

Man: Mateo... Mateo is probably at the Mallard Casino in Ashton. His brother owns it. If he's not there, he's meeting with some buyers near there... That's... That's all I know. Ugh, just get me to a doctor!

Valerie watches him intently for a moment.

Man: I swear that's all I know! Help me!

Valerie nods.

Valerie: Okay.

She picks up the nearby phone and casually dials the local emergency number. She feigns concern.

Valerie: Hi, umm, I've got a medical emergency. A friend of mine was intoxicated and accidentally dropped a knife in his leg. He's bleeding pretty badly... I need help!

After giving the operator the location and a few more details on the accident and a few minutes pass, an ambulance arrives.

Valerie: I don't know if it hit anything major, but you can see it went way in so he's bleeding really badly.

She gives them her excessively long cell phone number and they leave. She is saddened by the hopefully temporary loss of her Spyderco Szabofly, but her train of thought soon returns to her bounty. She realizes that she's kind of lacking a transport, and Ashton is about a half-hour drive away.

This would require some not-so-creative thinking.
Valerie Fas'nvak
Ex-tournament fighter/
ninja accountant

Dominion Master
9/17/2006 11:31:01 PM

Level: 1
Experience: 0

Total Posts: 126
RE: A Traveller, a Cargo Hauler, and a Ship Dealer Walk Into a Bar

She soon finds herself wearing roller blades and being towed by a man on a moped.

WTF?
Valerie Fas'nvak
Ex-tournament fighter/
ninja accountant

Dominion Master
11/3/2006 10:51:01 PM

Level: 1
Experience: 0

Total Posts: 126
RE: A Traveller, a Cargo Hauler, and a Ship Dealer Walk Into a Bar

A half-hour of terrifying skating later, Valerie is in Ashton.

Kind Driver of the Moped: Keep the Angelic Roller Blades of Flaying. I've been trying to sell them for the past few days, but I just kept getting PK'd.

Valerie blinks.

Valerie: Umm... Okay... Thanks.

She skates around town. The Mallard Casino can be easily seen from just about anywhere, since it's the tallest building in the city. She finds her way to it after gathering several odd looks. Outside the casino, she takes off the skates and places them in her Bauer bag.
Alex Dean
Cargo Hauler
Dominion Master
11/4/2006 5:51:01 PM

Level: 1
Experience: 0

Total Posts: 151
RE: A Traveller, a Cargo Hauler, and a Ship Dealer Walk Into a Bar

Alex snaps his fingers in front of Sam's face.

Alex: Saaam.
Sam: Huh? Oh. Right. TCF. Yeah... Apparently they want us dead or something. Some crazy bounty hunter chick was here. Didn't even give me time to write down her name.
Alex: Oh, okay.

He turns to leave.

Alex: Wait. Dead? What did we ever do to them?
Sam: Apparently we blew up their station. Or so they think.
Alex: Oh, so that's what that giant explosion up there was after we left. Did you see it?
Sam: How could I miss it?
Alex: It was... up there... like... in the sky... straight up... I mean... I don't know.

He shrugs.

Alex: Anyway, bounty hunter chick? What, did she accept a bounty on us? And if so, why aren't we dead?
Sam: She's crazy, I tell you. She's probably watching us from somewhere as we speak.

He glances around. Alex shudders a little bit.

Alex: So uhh. Shouldn't we try to contact them and clear our names?

Sam leans back in his chair.

Sam: You think they'd care? How did I get dragged into this mess anyway?! I sell ships, for the love of God! ...Now I have some secret organization or something trying to kill me!

Sam reaches into his desk and pulls out a candy bar and munches down on it.

Sam: ...I feel better now.
Alex: You're the one that jumped on the chance to be all secretive and--

He sees the candy bar.

Alex: Got any more of those?

Sam opens the drawer again, and a look of sheer terror crosses his face as he looks up to Alex.

Sam: O-Oh gosh! They're all gone! All of them!

Alex ignores it.

Alex: Anyway, you accepted their offer on the spot. Remember? I knew they'd be bad news.
Sam: Now they've crossed the line. A bounty is one thing; but my candy bars?! It's on now.

He gets up and goes to his office window, looking out to the city.

Alex: You're not listening, are you?

Just then, there is a loud "BOOM" and the office window shatters, and a hole is left in the adjacent wall. Panicking, Sam drops down below the window and looks over at Alex. Alex dives to the floor as well.

Sam: Uh... Yeah.
Alex: Um?

After several long, silent seconds, Alex comes to the doomed realization of: "SNIPERRRRR!"

Alex: Isn't it funny how the first shot invariably misses?

Sam crawls over to his desk and pulls his Lern 42 out of it.

Sam: Yeah. You know... that's true... The first shot always miss--

BOOM
Another shot, this time through the wall and into Sam's desk.

Alex: Even the second shot misses sometimes.

He draws his Five-seveN, unsure of what good it'll do. A moment later, Dave busts through the door. He sees Alex and Sam on the floor with guns and a bunch of glass shards on the floor.

Alex: DOWN!!

Dave does not register this command swiftly, but there's no bounty on him, so it doesn't really matter. He eventually joins the two on the floor.

Dave: ...What's goin' on down here?

Sam glances at him.

Sam: Bounty. Sniper.

Dave raises an eyebrow.

Dave: Bounty? What, the guys with the Walkers?
Alex: I would assume the Teas Covert Forces.
Sam: We should really, you know, run.

He stands up and makes a mad dash for the nearest ship. Though Sam is long gone, Alex states his concurrence and follows. Dave crawls out of the office, far below any windows.

Outside, Sam seems to be having trouble deciding where to go. Alex grabs him and dashes to his Spacehawk.

Sam: I sure hope your ship is bulletproof.

He heads in and closes the cargo door behind them. Alex slams his butt down in the pilot seat.

Alex: Sure, it can take small arms fire easy.

He doesn't actually know, it just makes both of them feel better. He has already begun the takeoff procedure. He stops suddenly.

Alex: Wait. What about everybody else? I'm going to take a guess that Leon and his sister have a bounty too. Well... They have lots of bounties. But they're in danger right now.
Sam: Well... Where are they?

He hits the button to open the cargo door again. The lot outside is so quiet it's almost eerie.

Alex: Uhh... Well, I assumed Leon would be working, but... where is everybody?
Sam: They probably heard gunshots and ran.
Alex: Errr... yeah...

There's a pause.

Alex: So are we going to find them or get going?
Sam: ...I'm not leaving them behind.

He sticks a new toothpick in his mouth and runs out of the ship, heading toward his own. He quickly unlocks the cargo hatch and pulls out his Satyr. He then heads into the shop, searching for Leon and the others. Not to his suprise, they're all gone. Alex is tempted to close the cargo door, but doesn't want to leave Sam out there. He then wonders why Leon, an Ellixan, would run from the sound of gunfire. It would be more likely that he would seek the source. Maybe that's what he's doing...

Alex growls and grabs his M42 and heads out to catch up with Sam, keeping to cover.
Leon Mecheeto Brothers in Arms
Ex-Soldier
11/4/2006 8:15:00 PM

Level: 1
Experience: 0

Total Posts: 45
RE: A Traveller, a Cargo Hauler, and a Ship Dealer Walk Into a Bar

Leon is climbing a fire escape to the top of a building where he heard the shots. He finally reaches the top and climbs over the edge. There doesn't appear to be anyone. He glances around quickly. He can smell the sniper. He draws his Glock and waits for a second. Complete silence. He starts to take a step forward and hears a dried leaf crack slightly. He turns to it just in time to see the huge Ellixan bounty hunter pounce on him with a Mercworx Sniper knife. Leon double taps with his Glock, but the lumbering Ellixan manages to dodge it.

Individual Ellixans are capable of dispatching a platoon from just about any normal army, but Ellixan versus Ellixan is a bit more challenging.

Leon tries a couple more shots, but the bounty hunter knocks the gun aside. He slashes at Leon a few times to no avail. They both back off, the bounty hunter drawing his USP45, and fire at each other. They both duck behind brick chimneys as the shots land, blowing the bricks apart. Flying particles make tiny cuts all over the two Ellixans.

Leon fires again, but the bounty hunter is gone. He dashes to the edge of the roof and sees the hunter disappear into one of the city's many cluttered alleys. He brings his clenched fist down hard onto the railing.

Leon steps into the dealership showroom. Alex is standing in the middle of it clasping his M42.

Alex: There you are!

Leon's stern expression does not change.

Alex: Where the heck were you?
Leon: On a roof fighting your sniper.

Alex blinks.

Alex: Ah.

Sam with his Satyr and Dave with a Glock 19 enter the showroom.

Sam: Carl!

The door to the restroom cracks open. It then opens completely and Carl steps out.

Carl: Is he gone?
Leon: Yes.

Fate walks in through the front door with grocery bags in each hand.

Fate: I heard gunfire. What's wrong?
Alex: Nothing really. Just our friendly neighborhood sniper tried to kill us.
Leon: He was an Ellixan. I am actually surprised you are not dead.

Alex's expression grows a little more uneasy.

Alex: Ah. You know 'im?
Leon: No.
Sam: So, you fragged 'im, right?
Leon: No.
Sam: ... Okay. So, Ellixans are supposed to be the ultimate killing machines of the galaxy, right? So why aren't we dead? He missed twice. That's not so great.
Alex: Maybe he was just having a bad day? Anywho, I say we all stand around in this mostly glass building waiting to be shot.
Sam: Excellent idea.
Alex Dean
Cargo Hauler
Dominion Master
12/14/2006 12:21:10 AM

Level: 1
Experience: 0

Total Posts: 151
RE: A Traveller, a Cargo Hauler, and a Ship Dealer Walk Into a Bar

Alex: I'm a fountain of great ideas today.

Pause.

Alex: We should get off-world.
Sam: Indeed.
Alex: So... let's go, shall we?
Sam: Carl, Dave, come on. We're leaving the planet. If you need anything, grab it now.

Carl runs into the company bathroom to grab a tooth brush, a box of baking soda, mouth wash, and a WaterPik.

Fate: Just what we need, eh?

Leon looks disgruntled--but he usually does, so nobody can really tell what he's thinking.

Alex: Carl, Dave, Leon, Fate, y'all can ride with me. Sam's weapons are in his ship, so he should take his. Plus he can do the space combat if need be. Anyway, we need to move before more heckers come our way.

Leon and Fate go out to the workshop to get their belongings out of the lockers. Everybody meets up at Alex's cargo hauler. He casually hits a button in the cockpit which scans the entire ship for tracking devices, bombs, and other hazards. Cool. He hits a button on the control panel.

Alex: Sam?
Sam: Yeah.
Alex: Where we goin'?

There's silence.

Alex: ...Right. I'll be right over.

Within minutes, they pick Fierra Mesa out of a hat and Alex returns to his own ship. They take off, head off in another direction in hyperspace for five minutes, drop out, turn to the Aans system, and resume hyperspace.
Valerie Fas'nvak
Ex-tournament fighter/
ninja accountant

Dominion Master
12/14/2006 12:52:20 AM

Level: 1
Experience: 0

Total Posts: 126
RE: A Traveller, a Cargo Hauler, and a Ship Dealer Walk Into a Bar

Meanwhile, Valerie Fas'nvak enters a casino. She's kind of surprised she didn't have to pay heavenly fees or get patted down or any other such bullslag. She looks around. She goes over to a security guard.

Valerie: Do you know where I could find Mateo Mallone?

The guard points at an elevator.

Guard: Top flo'. In 'is office. Talkin' wit' some reo' bad doods. Gonna get dead reo' fas' if you jes' go walssin' in the'e.

The man is not black.

Valerie: ...You're not serious.
Guard: No. Well, not entirely. He's on the top floor talking with some real bad dudes, but I don't think you'll get dead. Go on up if you really want to.

Valerie blinks and her brow furrows.

Valerie: You don't seem very security guardish.
Guard: They pay me a tape an hour. I'm bitter. Mateo can die in a fire.
Valerie: Why don't you quit?
Guard: I'm waiting for Mateo to die in a fire. Lady, I'll give you some matches if you'll do it.

Valerie's mouth hangs a bit.

Valerie: Uh, nah. I'll send you photos.

The guard looks confused as Valerie heads over to the elevator. Before Valerie can hit the button, the elevator doors open and a suave man, actively placing sunglasses atop his face, steps out.

Valerie: Excuse me, what's your name?

The man stops abruptly and takes the sunglasses off.

Man: My name's Mateo Malone.

He places the sunglasses atop his face and a Cpt. Butthole smile crosses his face.

Man: I own this casino.

He takes the sunglasses off and pockets them.

Mateo: Why do you ask?
Valerie: I've seen your picture in a magazine. I've always wanted to meet you!

Her acting isn't quite up to par, but Mateo doesn't notice.

Mateo: Well, allow me to show you around and we can talk about me.

He grins again, whips out his sunglasses, and puts them on.

Mateo: Come on.

As he leads Valerie into the fray of the casino, Valerie looks at the security guard and makes flaming gestures in Mateo's direction. The guard sticks his tongue out and throws up the horns.
Valerie Fas'nvak
Ex-tournament fighter/
ninja accountant

Dominion Master
12/15/2006 11:21:48 PM

Level: 1
Experience: 0

Total Posts: 126
RE: A Traveller, a Cargo Hauler, and a Ship Dealer Walk Into a Bar

Valerie blocks out Mateo's constant egotistical chatter until they wind up on a patio overlooking a river that runs through town.

Luckily for Valerie, the patio is completely empty. It was locked, so apparently it's reserved for special people. Intriguing.

Valerie ignores everything Mateo says as she quickly observes all exit points. It would be incredibly easy to knock him out, climb over the railing, and just leave. So she knocks him over the head with the butt of Susan, drags his body through a gate, and... continues dragging.

Nuts. Camera. But it's not moving, and not looking in her direction, but she will have to pass through its field of view. At least she has plenty of time to figure it out.

Actually, she could climb down the hill to the shore of the river and probably be safe... but how's she going to get Mateo down with her...?

She shrugs and lets his body slide down the hill unrestricted. He ends up sliding headfirst into the sand. His neck shouldn't be broken. She climbs down after him and drags his body along the sandy path. She kind of hates to do this to him; it would feel nasty being dragged through all this wet sand--if he was conscious. But he's not, so it doesn't really matter. After surely clearing the field of view of the security camera, she starts back up the hill.

Valerie: Oh my GOSH, this guy is heavy.

She finally reaches the top of the hill and drops Mateo behind a planter so she can take a breather. She doesn't have a clue how the heck she's going to get him to her client.

Valerie: You're supposed to be an expert bounty hunter, retard. Did you think about this? At all?

...

Valerie: Grin

Minutes later, she is in the driver's seat of Mateo's EAD 1970 Pontiac GTO. Mateo is sitting very uncomfortably in the passenger seat. Surprised he's still unconscious, Valerie forces a Melpalin pill down his throat. With any luck, it'll keep him unconscious. She digs around his coat and finds a K102R. She thrusts it into her Bauer Bag, starts the engine and drives off back toward Morganville, where a heavy transport will be leaving for Fierra Mesa soon, and she has a free pass thanks to a previous bounty.

Valerie: This is a nice car. I'll keep it.

It's a very short drive to Morganville and its associated spaceport. The Melpalin should keep Mateo unconscious for seven to eight hours.

The transport won't leave for about an hour, so Valerie sits outside and plays Metroid Prime: Hunters.

An MTR-82 Spacehawk and an RXN-7 Reaver fly over.
Alex Dean
Cargo Hauler
Dominion Master
12/20/2006 9:07:06 PM

Level: 1
Experience: 0

Total Posts: 151
RE: A Traveller, a Cargo Hauler, and a Ship Dealer Walk Into a Bar

Something taps Alex on the shoulder. It feels cold and metallic, and a little pointy. He turns his head and sees what appears to be a medieval torture device tapping on his shoulder.

He screams.

Diana: Did I frighten you, Alex?

Alex blinks. He had completely forgotten about Diana.

Alex: ...Yes!
Diana: I apologize. I wish to make a suggestion.
Alex: Okay.
Diana: I suggest we alter course to the Siesta.
Alex: ...Siesta? Is that my new house?
Diana: I suppose.
Alex: It's really called "Siesta"?
Diana: Yes.
Alex: That's awesome! There's only one problem... I can't contact Sam while we're in hyperspace.
Diana: You are, however, close enough to extract him along with yourself.
Alex: ...How do you know?

The horrible mechanical arm with which Diana tapped Alex's shoulder points at one of the screens on the dashboard. It is displaying a radar-esque screen showing two blips.

Alex: That never did that before.
Diana: I was a bit bored.
Alex: I love you.
Diana: Please stay away from me.
Alex: I was planning on it.

Alex exits hyperspace. The spadar (space radar, ha ha) shows a contact. With some difficulty, Alex finds Sam's ship nearby. The low S2S alert beep is emitted from a speaker.

Sam: What just happened?
Alex: We're changing course.
Sam: ...Why?
Alex: I have a capital ship somewhere between Blizzard and Mircor.
Sam: You... have a capital ship.
Alex: Well, I can't move it, but it has shield technology millenia ahead of ours, so we'll be entirely safe there.
Sam: ...Are you high?
Alex: Nope, dead serious. Here, open port 6112 so I can send you the route.
Sam: You really are serious.
Alex: Yes!!
Sam: ...Okay...

There's a short silence.

Sam: Okay, it's open.

Alex transfers the information to Sam's navicomputer.

Sam: That wasn't a very smart move, exiting hyperspace.
Alex: I knew you were close enough.
Sam: That's not the problem. You could have blown out BOTH of our hyperdrives, then we'd be stuck out here and DIE.
Alex: ...Oh yeah.
Sam: But it looks like everything's still good, so you got lucky.
Alex: Well, I actually didn't check mine.

Sam sighs.

Alex: You're gonna have to wait while I run some diagnostics.

Sam groans.

Sam: Fine.
Alex: It'll only take a couple minutes.

He starts doing some junk with his computer.

Alex: I should figure out some way for you to come aboard while we're doing our little... stop... things. That would be cool.

Everybody is silent and bored while Alex runs diagnostics.

Sam: I can't even get any internet out here. Or TV.

He tries the movie channel he and Leon watched that one time. It doesn't work. He growls.

Alex: Okay, I'm done. Ready?
Sam: Yep.
Alex: Three... two... one...

They rip into hyperspace. Alex turns to Diana, who is hovering silently to his side.

Alex: So you modified my systems to detect stuff in hyperspace?
Diana: Yes.
Alex: Anything else?
Diana: Only a little program to drop out of hyperspace as soon as a contact comes within range.

Alex can feel the mischief in the robot's voice and he cannot help but flash an evil grin in return.

Diana: I was only bored. I do not condone its use.
Alex: Uh-huh.

He gets up and goes into the crew quarters. There are four beds and five people, including him. He'll just have to urinate on the... no. No. Bad idea. It would be much better to find an alternate method.

He walks through the crew quarters into the cargo compartment. The other four people in the ship have set up a card table Alex had forgotten he had and are currently participating in a game of Liar's Dice. Remembering he had lost a lot of dice and two cups, he does not ask to join in. He paces.
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Daireem - RE: A Traveller, a Cargo Hauler, and a Ship Dealer Walk Into a Bar
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